The Messenger
by Hermonthis
Summary: Duo/Hilde - "A gundam pilot was a wanderer, and always will be." Well, he'd prove her wrong.


A/N: This was originally co-written with David on March 18, 2004 as a songfic when we didn't know any better. But I've been feeling nostalgic and for memory's sake, I'm reposting this without the lyrics. Thank god. Feel free to review and state your opinion on this dowdy old thing. :)

**THE MESSENGER**

"_I'm frightened but I'm coming. Please, baby, please lay still. Oh no. Oh no. I'm not coming for the kill."_ (The Tea Party)

* * *

"Duo," she whispered, moving her body forward to whisper in his ear, "Why won't you let me touch you?"

As she closed her eyes and sighed slowly to put her right hand over his, the mere stroke of her finger sent chills down his spine and the boy bent his head even lower to shield his face.

"I don't want you near me, babe, I'll corrupt you." He tried to take his hand away from her but ended up enclosing it with his other. She knelt beside him on his bed, placed her head on his shoulder and watched him quietly.

"I wouldn't mind." She answered. "I just want to be with you."

_XXX_

When the fog of the bleak, murky darkness rolls away from the shore to reveal a quaint town on a hill, a granite angel upon a pedestal appears to watch the setting… She stands with her arms outstretched in the middle of a cobblestone bridge, located just a ways from the heart of the sleepy village.

Peering into her face, her slightly parted lips seem to utter a single word but no one has been able to understand that just it is she is saying. The statue is weathered with age and time, but the effect of the human population has done her more harm than nature itself. Burn marks of loosely-handled firecrackers, bits of trash and rubbish thrown at her feet, hardened gum stuck to her plaque, she remains vigil on the bridge, watching the cars, shops, and houses. She has been there forever and will always will; past the time when the town's inhabitants will pack up and leave to seek bigger and better places to live.

The stone masonry is forbidding and so is the lethargic river which runs underneath it. Somewhere in the background, the pitter-patter of an early riser's footfalls startles some birds. The pigeons fly upward in their despair, breaking free from the pavement with their beating wild wings. A curtain of pearly, ashen-coloured fog momentarily reclaims the city in its smothering embrace.

Looking up a multiplex of apartments and houses tower over the narrowed streets of the paved stone; shamelessly giving the impression of a quiet neighbourhood village. Which it was. Closing in upon an open window; opal white curtains are open to let the chilly wind inside.

Long white legs under the coverlets exposed themselves in the coming of the morning dawn. The sky remained below in the horizon, caught between the artist's palette of a stormy grey and a faded black. Dissipating into the air were the lights of the stars, burning themselves out for the bleak day to come. A man in his mid-twenties gets up quietly from the bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping form beside him, and he wanders to the vanity table where he threw down his clothes last night.

"I have to leave, Hilde. I'll see you soon… someday."

But she never heard him.

Pulling his shirt over his head, Duo fumbled with the buttons and whisked his bangs away from his face. He didn't want to leave, not like this. Just when everything was going to perfect, they had to call him back again. He took one last look at the girl sleeping on the pillows and felt himself fall apart. So many things to live for, so many places to see and things to do, to hell with the others, they just didn't understand. Her violet hair stuck to her forehead in the most endearing ways and her cupid's bow was turned up to form a smile.

_"Hilde, there's something I have to tell you." His face was somber and the usual grin was gone. Just this morning he had received the call and in a day or so, they would call again for his assistance._

_"What is it?"_

_But he couldn't speak the words to save his life. Instead, he pulled her into a bruising hug and hung his head down in shame. How did the other boys get through this if he couldn't? Maybe they were just soldiers after all._

_"You're leaving me, aren't you."_

Heero was the undisputed leader of them all, whether he admits it or not. Sometimes he'd wonder if the man had any compassion in life anymore, with the ways he always puts his on the line. Quatre still held onto his beliefs but try as he might, nothing could erase the death of his father or the colony he destroyed single-handedly. That boy shouldn't have been one of them in the first place.

Trowa? Duo snorted despite himself and held onto the woman in his arms just a little longer. Who knew about him? WuFei was the same, at least he had been down that road before. He was the one who held the most promise out of all of them, a chance at a new life and they had to call him back to the battlefields.

But he didn't want to.

"I'll come back, I promise."

So here he was, the God of Death once more. Duo turned around suddenly and slashed through the mobile suit of yet another nameless soldier. The mecha froze in the middle of its attack before exploding into a shower of blinding light, forcing the pilot to shield his eyes from the glare. As insane as it sounds regarding his current situation, he thought of Hilde and the time they saw a shooting star together one night.

"Maxwell!"

Can't think of that right now.

"Die!!" and rammed himself against a wall, his trademark weapon at the ready to hack and destroy. He'd get through this, it was just another fight.

Kill. Hack. Tear. Annihilate the enemy.

Pushing his gundam up into the air, his shadow loomed over the ruins of the city that these amateur soldiers razed to rubbish and ashes. The bastards, all of them. He doubted they thought of what this place meant to the people who lived here.

But that was once upon a time.

The roof of a building concaved when a mobile doll made contact with one of its walls. Such a pity, it was the museum too. The pilot severed its arms with frightening efficiency and the head followed suit. He never looked twice at who might have been inside.

_XXX_

Reaching out a lazy hand Hilde pressed her palm to the window and looked out at the grey rain drizzling down on the tin roofs. Leaning her forehead against the pane, she clutched at the tied knot of her bathrobe and ignored the persistant 'beep beep' of the alarm clock. She'd let the battery run out before turning it off and keep on dreaming.

Sighing heavily, her slender fingers strayed with the fabric of the curtains but taking one last look past them, decided to leave them open to avoid feeling closed in. Striding barefoot across the linoleum floor, Hilde held one end of the duvet and began to make the bed. She'd take a bath later on.

With the utmost care, she placed her necklace on the dresser beside a picture frame. She lit a red candle and the cross gleamed, its silhouette covering the face of the young man in the picture.

Duo stood straight and commanded his pulse to slow down before his comrades. In the past, he would have made jokes about his situation but these past weeks he barely let out a laugh. Well, only when no one was looking…

But he was going home.

He couldn't believe the words the blue-eyed man in front of him was saying. They didn't need him to stay here; he had done enough if not more than expected. She had called and asked for him to be given leave of the war, they had only requested for his assistance anyway.

"But there is one thing, Maxwell."

_XXX_

Walking up the steps to the apartment building, the boy's fingers slipped when the package that he was holding almost fell out of his hands and into the puddles of water beneath his feet. This place was either always raining or brimming with sunshine, as if the heavens didn't know which side of the silver coin to choose.

Kicking his foot against a warped stone step, he swore aloud for being so clumsy and tugged his cap over his eyes to avoid getting the rain in his face. It had been awhile since his last delivery and wished that after this mission was done, he could quit this job at last.

Shivering under his coat, his teeth chattered as he buzzed the ringer multiple times to get an answer. It was freezing under here, especially when he had to ride on that flimsy bike of his through the precipitation. He had been working all morning, waking up before dawn just to get these brown paper-wrapped parcels to their owners in time.

He pressed the buzzer once more and kicked at the fragmented rock lying beside his foot. If this lady didn't pick up soon, he'd leave and leave the post wet on her doorstep and go to his next stop.

It opened.

"Yes?"

"Hilde Schbeiker, right?" The woman nodded serenely and the boy stared at her. Such bright eyes but so lonely…

"Here, this is for you."

"Who is it from?"

"Not sure ma'am." She eyed him distrustfully but he added, "There's only a letter to go with it. I've made deliveries like this before, ma'am, pretty sure that none of them are dangerous."

She took the bundle from him and lowered her gaze a bit, trying to see at the face under the hat.

"Do you want to come in? You're soaked."

"No thanks, I have a few other things to do before I'm done."

"Do I know you?" She replied quickly. "You remind me of someone. How old are you?" The boy shook his head and touched his cap lightly before the lady before answering her.

"Eighteen, lady. I don't think I'm the one you're lookin' for." Slightly confused, Hilde watched the young man tick off something on his clipboard before getting on his bike and pedal out into the street again.

Walking up the stairs to her apartment, she gazed at the object for a long time before going into the kitchen to get the scissors. Curious, she cut the twine holding the paper together and reached for the card. Scanning it briefly, a swelling of emotions surfaced when she recognized the signature at the bottom of the page and she ripped open the box to see what was inside. Something wet came to her eyes.

"Duo…"

Seizing the letter in her hand, she ran to the window to look for the delivery boy who had given the package to her. She caught sight of him shrinking just beyond the stone bridge, his bike looking like a mere toy in the distance. It would be useless to try and call out to him, to ask him questions that maybe he would have the answers to. A fierce wind whipped at her face as she peered over the sill, and the last she saw was the boy disappearing under the wings of the statue.

_"I'll come back, I promise."_

The weeks passed and he had not returned to her. The days turned to weeks turned to months, but not yet a year. In the early morning hours, Hilde opened the white window facing the bridge where it remained ajar throughout the hours. It was also open at night, although she held the curtains together to close it up a bit. It was a strange practice, to leave an opening to your home for most of the day but she had her reason for it. The friendly rumour went around town that the German girl waited for her Peter Pan to come back from Never-Never land, and that one night he should fly through the sill and wake her up in her dreams.

She laughed when the little ones asked her about this, and told that that it was true. She would wait for the boy-who-refuses-to-grow-up, even to the edge of forever and then they'd all laugh in merriment. They made a promise to her that if they should ever come across a lost shadow, to direct that shadow to her.

"Maybe," she replied. Maybe Duo was just on the second star to the right of the moon…

In the evenings, when the moon was absent and only the stars peeped out from the dark curtain known as the sky, Hilde would have dreams that he had been the delivery boy. Her thoughts would go as far to imagine that he had amnesia during one of his battles and couldn't remember his name, lest of all her. Maybe he decided to cut his hair and go join the guerilla troops in the North. Her imagination started to run away with her and the more Hilde deliberated about Duo's absence, the more she missed him.

No, the delivery boy was not her Maxwell, despite their physical likeness and common traits they were not the same person. There were too many things that separated them from each other after just one brief encounter. The blue eyes were not the same.

But they were never really the same.

Her daily routine didn't change all that much, Hilde didn't want to adjust her life just because he was somewhere else, because she knew that he would come back. He had to.

And if he didn't…

She didn't want to think about that.

But one very special day, a stranger decided to watch her on a daily basis, concealing himself in the crowds and nobody really cared or acknowledged his presence. He was just another guest in their town of cobblestone sidewalks and small stores. An influx of tourists had invaded the area since the rebellion in the north had been quelled, with thanks to the Vice Foreign Minister. Things were peaceful again, until someone else was foolish enough not to realize that and try to mess things up again. War is a hideous thing, and it affected everyone.

Shaking his head clear of darkened memories, the shadow decided to seat himself at a coffee shop in the main square and watched the famed stone fountain in the middle of the town centre. Passerbys often threw a penny or two into the sparkling water, making a wish at the edge of the rim and look slightly embarrassed as onlookers smirked in their own little way. This was the place of dreams, this fountain, and the town was well known for it. Many people came here to renew their lives and hope for new ones, taking in the scenery and the tranquility that the old familiars offered.

And as always, there was the angel statue. At first, it was forbidding for strangers to cross the bridge, fearing that the sculpture would come to life and attack them, but after time they came to recognize it as their protector from the dangers of the outside world. Gabriel, as they called the statue, became a deity, a divinity (almost) of the municipality.

Sipping his drink casually, Duo turned his back on the street and angled his body to keep an eye on a specific area of town. He watched as she exited the house with a bag on her shoulder, still wearing the raspberry beret. Even with the distance, he could see that she was smiling.

His stomach churned.

Hilde walked down the streets and stopped to chat away with her neighbours, repeatedly switching the bag from one hand to another with its heavy weight. Waving goodbye to the mail man as he rode away on his thin bicycle, she lugged around her baggage and past the residential areas heading to the main part of town where he was situated. Sitting up in anticipation, it was soon squashed when the girl turned a corner and made for a side-street, an even older part of town where all the building were pushed together like dominoes and their roofs sloped downward, a reminder of the medieval days.

Leaving a tip to go along with his unfinished drink, he followed her hurriedly, avoiding the urge to push people to the side and go into a straight run. The sound of tinkling bells and a click of the lock confirmed that she had entered the store. Their mechanic shop. After the junkyard, they moved and opened a repair shop where they ran it together.

Sighing relief, he found a place to hide, behind the ice cream trolley, and sucked in fresh air, taking a good look at his home. How there were still birds in the air, the water was still clean and drinkable, and how the people didn't hide in their homes waiting in fear. There was no ash on the ground, the trees weren't hewn down and there was still life.

Duo didn't have to wait for long as she emerged from the shop and locked it up again, looking up at the store sign above the door. He had cut out that wood and she had painted it, he remembered. And he also remembered how he had sat on the sign before the paint had dried. New leather pants were needed afterwards.

Even if he couldn't hear her speak, he knew that she sighed.

And that got him to thinking… he knew everything about her. Maybe even more that he knew himself. The way she laughed and her eyes would shine, the way she played with her short hair when she was thinking about something important, and how he'd tease her about it, making her pout and try to ignore his teasing. How she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty when they'd work on a new repair job, there were so many things that he could list…

She liked to listen to him, especially his jokes, no matter how corny or tasteless they could be.

She'd put up with his long hair even if it took his hours to dry. He never took her threats of shaving it off seriously. (Except for that one time when he made her late…)

She'd make sure he didn't choke on his food.

And she'd be there to make the nightmares go away.

It was time to go back.

That night, after she had gone back to their flat he emerged from the bar and headed home, hiding in the shadow of next door when she opened the window again, waiting. He could picture her sitting down, talking to herself that it was silly to keep doing this. That he wouldn't come back just because she wished he would. But then Hilde would lightly scold herself for thinking these thoughts and turn on the television to watch some the late night science-fiction movies from the lost years, even before the colonies were formed. Closing his eyes, he pictured it in his mind.

And he stood under the window, gazing upward, wishing that he could fly. So close to home, and yet so far away from her. Space had no room for him; he left the colonies and his less than glorious childhood for Earth, where he fought to find his mission in life. Most places that he had gone to, he was not welcome in one way or another.

A gundam pilot was a wanderer, and always will be.

He'd prove her wrong.

So that evening, just like in her dreams, he climbed up the walls and crept in through the white window, landing with a little noise a possible when his boots hit the wooden flooring and his braid accidentally smacked against the wall. She was curled up on the sofa just like he had predicted, with the remote control limp in her hand and a half-empty mug of coffee on the table.

Grabbing a blanket from the closet, he draped it over her and watched her sleep. Taking the remote from her hand, he clicked off the television and took the mug to the kitchen and put it in the sink.

"Duo?" a faint voice called. He returned to the living room and sat down on the sofa beside her, moving her legs slightly.

"Yes?" was his reply. She threw her hands to her face and threw her arms around him. Hugging her back, the boy knew that he was home because her eyes smiled once more.

"I missed you."

"I know."

"Will you leave again?"

"No, I'm here to stay."

* * *

ETA: Eww. Grammatical errors, sentence confusion, and jarring scene changes. Ewww.


End file.
